is marriage a bond or bargain?

Their daughter's marriage is fixed and the girls' family feels relieved,but that may be just the start of the ordeal-that of choosing gifts for the groom and his family.No matter if it's an arranged marriage or a love marriage,gifts to the groom's family become a'wedding ritual'.This,in even the most educated,upper middle-class,so called liberal families.They try to pass off their demands as tradition.Expectations may vary-some want their relatives to be 'taken care of'(accomadated in expensive hotels),while others may ask for expensive gifts.
But the point is,when two people want to share their lives,why should the girl's family compensate that of the groom?
Priya,one of my good friend who runs her own apparel business in chandigarh,says the innovation in"the demand thing"is for the groom's family to tell the girl's,"She is your daughter,you may give her whatever u want."such requests have led priya to back away from several potential partners."why should i get into this?it's jarring that all this demand business takes place with the full knowledge and consent of the boy concerned,who has probably got his education in the best of schools," she says.
There are lots of brides who refused to put up with this.One of my senior,in love with a man who had an MBA degree,had worked in new york and was considered a 'prize catch'.He know she was no less.A dental graduate,she was doing her master's in pgi.when their parents met,it was a disaster.My senior intended had promised her the world but refused to see her point of view.
when she confronted her prospective father-in-law,she was dubbed rude,uneducated,ruthless..
"i was told that the girl's sde has to abide by traditions.I could not take it and broke off the engagement.It was a hard thing to do because i have known this guy for many years,but it was about my parent's respect and my own identity."says my senior.

Marriage on equal terms is about love and harmony and bringing two hearts together.Since when did'gifts' become the indispensable partner in a successful union?